Thoughts by human, co-written by AI

It is hard for me to network and maintain connections thats one of my failure patterns as a builder and perfectionist. For forever i thought if i am a good builder and buikd great products then everything else would happen automatically like people wouldd find my products and love them and start using them without saying a word and in my perfectionist mind i thought i should spend and maximize my time building all the time otherwise time is being wasted. I want to end that vicious hurtful cycle, as a builder i should be able to feel proud to build and network and ask people for opinion and for advice and ask people to try my product and tell me what they think, ask for help and favors and provide help and favors back. I dont need to stress about building all the time, i am doing myself a big pain and disfavor by neglecting the love and sharing of my products that i build and leave it to the external universe so that stars align and someone finds my product and my work. I am causing myself such a distress and my products such an unfavorable situation leave everything else to external factors and luck, and then in the end it hurts me and i am in pain when i dont see the great work that is underappreciated and left alone and i am stressing even more cyclically that i should not worry and continue building. I burn myself out and let my work die like that all the time under appreciated, they desire tenderness sharing caring all the work that i put in. To share and hear what people think, selling is equally important as building. I need to stop this toxic nindset of just build great and stars will fall in place, no thats toxic perfectionism mindset. I want to end thst vicious cycle. I want to stand up for myself for my work for my products, i want to respect myself and my work that i am creating and the art that i am creating. I want to put it out there and look fool and make mistakes and learn and grow as a builder as a seller as a networker as a friend as an artist and so on. Remember all this. And i want to write an article in my blog as well. Pull the github project gkoreli/blog and lets write this as an article, the fact that i am starting to actively experiment and build in oublic and what am i risking what vicious cycle i am ending and open up publically and so on

Earlier context from the same reflection: I want to learn how to network and communicate and build connections in public, nurture and grow and help others grow as well. Listen to feedback and opposing ideas and that will help me truly reflect and understand about my beliefs and ideas and philosophy.

Style direction: preserve the raw human idea. Do not turn it into corporate creator advice. It should sound like a builder realizing that the “just build great things” mindset became a painful perfectionist loop, and that sharing/selling/networking can be an act of care for the work, not a betrayal of it.

I want this to be a bit more strongly positioned, these are real feelings that i am feeling. I have believed all this for over ten years. I toxicslly believed that building great products and maximizing all my time only in engineering would make me successful, it was toxic perfectionism, i was stressing when i spent time elsewhere outside of engineering and felt that i was wasting time. It is a failure pattern and insecurity, that made me a person that is afraid to talk about his work and products i build, makes me afraid to talk about myself and share my work with people, makes it hard for me to reach out to people for help, in my mind i should not be “wasting” time in any of this. I must build and build, become better at engineering more and more and all the rest will happen by itself. Why leave everything else in other people’s hands? They dont know my product they dont know my integrity or work that im doing. I am neglecting myself my work and i am not standip up for myself this way. All of this is really hard to realize, took me more than a decade of engineering to realize that but better late than never. Now i am changing i am building in public, writing in public, sharing in public, networking, asking people for favors and help, and slowly getting better at standing up for myself and for my work and for my art.

Its a toxic perfectionism and its a really bad and common failure pattern in people that strive to build great things

I think one issue with selling is that selling this days or promoting something started to have negative connotations, like ugh you are trying to sell me something? Why cant it be noble? Is there an alternative noble word that i can use instead of selling? I am not selling something for profit i am just standing up for myself and respecting myself and mywork enough to ask people for favor to try it out and let me know what they think, and to network to ask people for favor for advice and for help out of genuine noble respect of myself and my work. This hasnt happened in last decade